Dictionary of a lovesick teenager
by mickeygirl101
Summary: They were supposed to go right back to hating each other, but she couldn't stay away. My take on a post ikiss awkwardness.


**A/N: This is kind of just how I think it'll be after the KISS. *squeals and faints***

**Awkward:**** requiring caution; somewhat hazardous; dangerous**

As usual, Sam was searching through the fridge for anything, anything being ham, to eat. As she pushed away random assortments of fruits and vegetables she continued to search. Clumsily she pushed a plate full of day old spaghetti tacos out of the way.

Then she felt him behind her. He hadn't said anything, but she knew. Just like how she knew how to pick a lock, when there was ham in Carly's fridge, or how she knew that this thing with Freddie was just a fluke. Sam couldn't explain it, nor did she want to.

She could feel her heart racing. Momentarily closing her eyes, she gave a silent prayer that Freddie was just walking by. Casually, Freddie slid in between Sam and the door, looking for something. Trying to remain calm, Sam pushed a carton of milk to the side.

They hadn't been this close since the "incident". That's what they'd dubbed it. An individual occurrence that wasn't supposed to happen again, supposed to being the operative word. After their little incident they'd avoided each other like oil and water.

That's when their fingers brushed. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to send chills down her spine. Shocked with a case of love-sick paralysis, she stood there frozen. Letting the cold stream of air from the refrigerator escape, she waited for Freddie to move his hand. Unfortunately, he seemed to be suffering from the same disease. Eventually, the sound of Carly's footsteps caused them to pull apart.

"What are you guys looking for," Carly asked as she walked into the kitchen. Setting her bag down on the floor, Carly reached into one of her cupboards.

"Ham," Sam muttered.

"Why am I not surprised," Carly laughed, "and sorry we're out of ham."

xXx

**Tension: ****mental or emotional strain; intense, suppressed suspense, anxiety, or excitement.**

She didn't know why she'd agreed to this. Why she'd agreed to come hang out with Carly and Freddie on the fire escape again. The same fire escape where the "incident" had occurred just a couple of days ago. Where she'd kissed Freddie, of all people, letting loose a string of unwanted emotions.

She could picture it now: Him sitting on the stairs, her on the windowsill. Leaning slowly together, and then 8 seconds. 8 seconds of them sitting there, kissing. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Sorry," Carly began as she started to grab her things, "I was supposed to be home 15 minutes ago to help Spencer with some sculpture thing." Sam felt her heart freeze. Freddie and her alone, not something she was ready for.

"Are you sure you can't stay," Sam pleaded. Carly sent her an apologetic look and stepped over into the window.

"Try not to kill each other though," Carly joked as she walked off. Sam wasn't worried about killing him. Sam stared at her feet. She could hear Freddie tapping the window softly.

"I'm gonna go," Sam broke the silence. As she walked towards the window she could feel his eyes staring at her, his cute, adorable eyes. Sam pushed this thought out of her head.

"You don't have to go," Freddie responded. Sam paused and slowly turned around to face him.

"or I could stay here and endure an awkward silence," Sam smirked. She saw Freddie smile and she felt her heart flip. She tried to calm herself down. Sam didn't know how she'd gotten so close to him. She should have walked away, but she was suffering from another bout of love-sick paralysis.

"It doesn't have to be awkward silence," Freddie went on. They were standing so close now. Sam could feel her breath hitch in the back of her throat. A year ago she wouldn't be caught dead this close to Freddie, but here she was trying desperately not to do anything she'd regret later.

"Then what are you suggesting we do?" Sam asked. She mentally kicked herself. This wasn't going where she wanted it to, or was it? Sam resisted the urge to run out of there. She could feel her back resting against the wall.

"I don't know what do you want to do?" Freddie asked his voice almost inaudible. Sam knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and kiss him like she'd kissed him before.

She tried to think of something witty. Something to ease the suspense, but her brain had drawn a blank. She could feel him coming closer. Sam wanted nothing more than to give in and kiss him, but something in the back of her mind was holding her back.

"Freddie," Sam whispered. They were only inches apart, their lips almost touching.

"Sam," Freddie whispered back.

"Not here," Sam replied, "Not now. It would be a mistake." Sam could still feel his hot breath on her face. Freddie nodded and moved away. Sam closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She could hear Freddie go inside. Slowly, Sam opened her eyes. She slowly breathed out. That's when she heard him.

Freddie walked outside, went towards her, and he kissed her. Sam felt her body tense up but slowly it gave in. She gave a silent thank you that she was against the wall. Freddie's hands were intertwined in her hair and Sam had wrapped her arms around his neck.

She should have stopped, but Freddie Benson was like a drug. Once she started, she couldn't stop. So even though she wanted to pull away and yell at him, she couldn't. She didn't know why, all she knew was that, at this moment, this was exactly where she wanted to be.

As Freddie broke away from her, Sam could feel his hot breath on her face for the second time that night. She slowly unwrapped her arms.

"Freddie," Sam whispered, unsure of what exactly she wanted to say.

Freddy cut her off, "I've made a lot of mistakes." Pulling away from her, Freddy walked inside. Sam stared at him, her heart still racing.

"Sometimes you learn from your mistakes," Sam whispered to no one in particular.

xXx

**Confusion:**** disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos**

3 days. That's how long it'd been since she'd kissed Freddie for the second time. Sam groaned as she lay down on the Shay's couch. She covered her eyes with her hands. Every time she closed her eyes all she could think about was that kiss.

"Go away," Sam moaned to herself. Removing her hands, she could see Carly standing above her peering at her. "Oh, not you."

"It doesn't matter, we've got to go prep for iCarly," Carly offered her a bottle of water. Sam grabbed the bottle from Carly and started tossing it up in the air. "Come on lazy, let's go, or else I'll send Freddy to come get you."

Sam snapped up, "Why would you send Freddy?" Sam didn't know why she panicked. For some reason, the idea of Carly knowing about her and Freddie upset her. Lately, she found herself wondering if Freddie still liked Carly. It had never bothered her before, but after that kiss…

"I don't know, because you hate him," Carly shrugged as she headed up towards the studio. "Coming?" Sam nodded and followed Carly upstairs.

Sam hadn't seen Freddie since 3 days ago. All she could think about was Freddy. The night he'd kissed for the second time that week. She didn't know why but every time he came near she froze up.

As she walked into the iCarly studio, Sam tried hard not to look at Freddy. She could feel him, once again, looking at her. She could hear Carly talking to him about something, but Sam continued to stare of blankly.

"Sam," Carly broke her train of thought, "are you even paying attention." Sam nodded.

"She's probably thinking of ham," Freddy joked. They both knew what she was thinking about. Sam shifted uncomfortably. Carly looked at both Sam and Freddy.

"Okay you guys have been acting really weird, so fix it while I go to the bathroom cause I don't want any weird things happening during iCarly?" Carly demanded. Sam was about to protest when Carly left the studio. Sam slowly let her eyes seek Freddie's. They stared at each other.

"Do you want to talk about," Freddy started cautiously.

"No," Sam interrupted him, "I'd rather not talk about it." Sam saw Freddie's face fall a little. She didn't know what it was about Freddie that drew her in. They stared at each other. Sam didn't know what happened but she found herself walking towards him. She could see confusion in his eyes.

"It's my turn to make a mistake," Sam smirked. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him. Freddie responded with shock before leaning in towards the kiss. Sam knew she should have stopped, but now that she was here she couldn't stop. She let her hands run through his hair and she could feel him pulling her tighter.

Sam knew she should have stopped for air but she'd forgotten how to breathe. She could hear Carly coming up the stairs. Slowly she let go of Freddy pushing herself away from him.

"Carly doesn't get to know," Sam warned as she walked away, "at least not now." Freddy nodded as he stared at her. They heard the door open and saw Carly come in.

"You guys all sorted out?" Carly asked as she placed her bottle of water on the floor. Sam glanced at Freddy. Carly looked up to see them staring at each other. "Okay, I'm confused." Sam and Freddy just smiled at each other.

**A/N: Yeah, so the ending sucked but review and tell me if you liked it at all : )**


End file.
